Far From Home
by AkiAkiChan
Summary: Spencer leaves, thinking that the team is better off without him.  Will he ever come home?  Attempted suicide/drug use
1. Chapter 1

Inspired by Far from Home by Hinder

I do not own Criminal Minds

_You said I'm always saying sorry for the same old things_

Morgan gave me that look. You know…the one that says you're babbling, kid, shut up already. "…Sorry."

"What for?"

"For boring you."

"I've told you before, there's no need to apologize."

_I'm sorry for the drugs and how much I drank_

"I'm sorry I'm weak."

"You're not weak, Spencer. No one could resist that drug."

"I had the choice of leaving the drug or taking it. I stole drugs from a dead man!"

_You said I say it so much it doesn't mean anything  
I'm sorry, my love, but I had to leave_

Derek,

I'm sorry. I know that it probably doesn't mean anything anymore, but I'm sorry.

I need to leave for a while.

Spencer__

I hope most of you will never know what it's like to let a love go  
Leaving everything at home, everything you've ever known

"What do you mean he left?" Rossi asked.

"He just up and left. He left a note saying sorry and that he was leaving for a while. He left everything. All his books, clothes, shoes, furniture," Morgan said.__

I can't fix this from a phone  
I'm sorry you feel so alone  
It's like I told you, "You're better off without me, I'm sick of saying sorry."  
So far from home

Derek's calling. Again.

"Look, Derek, you can't fix me. The team is better off without me messing things up. I'm sick of being weak and getting myself into trouble."__

You keep calling and complaining that I just don't care  
Would you say that if I was there?

"Don't you care about us? JJ and Garcia are heartbroken. Emily, Hotch and Rossi don't show it as much but they are upset too," Derek said.

"And you?"

"I want you to come home, Pretty Boy."

_It's that picture you keep painting that's causing your tears  
I could set you straight if you were here_

I'm weak. I'm weak. I'm weak. It kept going like a mantra in my head as I stared at myself in the cracked mirror.__

I hope most of you will never know what it's like to let a love go  
Leaving everything at home, everything you've ever known

Sliding down the wall of the motel, I started to sob. God, I missed them all so much. But I couldn't go back.__

I can't fix this from a phone  
I'm sorry you feel so alone

"Keep him on the phone, Derek. We're tracing his call this time. My baby genius needs to come back," Garcia ordered.

_It's like I told you, "You're better off without me, I'm sick of saying sorry."  
I don't want to string you along  
And that's why I'm letting you go_

"Pretty boy, come home. We miss our boy genius. We'll help you."

"I don't want to bring you down with me. No one needs to take the fall for me."__

It's like I told you, "You're better off without me, I'm sick of saying sorry."  
So far from home  
And you don't know how many times I talked to you  
And I can't count how many fights I fought with you

All those talks with Derek did they mean anything?

Do they know how much I love them? __

I don't want to string you along  
That's why I'm letting you go  
It's like I told you, "You're better off without me, I'm sick of saying sorry."

I can't fix this from a phone  
I'm sorry you feel so alone

"I GOT IT! He's in a motel!" Garcia screamed.

_It's like I told you, "You're better off without me, I'm sick of saying sorry."_

"We are not better off without you. We are so worried. Come on home, kid."__

I don't want to string you along  
That's why I'm letting you go  
It's like I told you, "You're better off without me, I'm sick of saying sorry."

"You're better off without me. Goodbye, Derek," I said, shooting up the amount that I figured would make me overdose.__

So far from home

As I slipped into the blackness, I wondered how long it would take them to find my body.

A few minutes later, the team arrived and I was rushed to the hospital.

"SPENCER REID! IF YOU **EVER** PULL A STUNT LIKE THAT AGAIN, I WILL HAVE TO SPANK YOU!" Garcia screamed when I woke up.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Stop saying sorry. We love you," JJ said.


	2. Epilogue

For BbyStarlette, she suggested a sequel…so here goes.

I do not own Criminal Minds.

I found out that, if they had arrived 10 minutes later, I would have been dead.

I also found out that I didn't want to be dead. I wanted help, but was so used to taking care of myself, I didn't know how to ask.

Morgan found it amusing that the two things I didn't know, everyone else did.

They love me and would not be better off without me.

If I needed help, all I had to do was ask.

As a result of my survival though, I was taken out of the field and forced to take a 6 week vacation. Garcia offered to let me stay with her, but after a few days of dancing around her and Kevin, I moved back into my apartment.

So she freaked.

And forced Morgan to let me move in with him.

She said, and I quote, "My boys need to take care of each other."

Morgan asked Strauss if we could just switch my address to his, because, apparently, Garcia and him had gone behind my back and discovered that I had a hard time making my payments because of the expensive of my mother's facility.

Their other arguments were that we barely lived in our apartments and that it would be easier to take care of each other, meaning me.

At first, I argued. I slowly began to realize that by having to pay only half of my previous rent amount meant that I could buy more books. **insert awkward Reid smile here**

Whenever I had the itch to use, someone was always there for me. In those first few weeks, I depended on Derek more than anyone else ever.

We told each other our pasts. We told each other our thoughts. We helped each other through our nightmares.

After four months of being on desk work, I was finally allowed back on the field.

I still lived with Derek. We still helped each other. We became closer.

I stopped living only in my brain. I stopped using drugs to escape. I learned to ask for help. I learned how important I was to this family.

I never want to leave this family. I've finally come home.


End file.
